Many people in my life don't understand why I get so discouraged and frustrated over missing self-imposed deadlines. But nearly everything in our lives is structured around dates and deadlines, whether you're talking work, school, appointments, sales, applications, or even taxes. There are deadlines or cutoff dates for everything! And by setting deadlines, I am trying to elevate my writing and creative pursuits from a hobby to something more serious.
Over the weekend, I joined my parents in attending a gun show. Normally I find these events to be a waste of my time. Most of the vendors display modern weapons with composite stocks, overly-priced shotguns, antiques from WWI and WWII, or handguns with slides and clips. But none of these guns interest me. I'm not into shooting sports (although I was an archery instructor for a summer camp), and hunting in my little neck of the woods is not good enough to justify spending more than $300-$450 on a shotgun.
Today I am sore. Over the past few days, I started a new exercise routine in order to try to regain the muscle I lost in the past year. I don't like being sore. I know some people who love exercise enjoy the pull and protest of muscles that have been pushed to their limits, but for me, I find the sensations restrictive and depressing. But if I want to be able to take on certain hobbies without this type of pain in the future, then I need to retrain my body for those tasks.
There is nothing wrong with remembering your past and acknowledging it. It's okay if things that you've lived through still hurt and bring you pause. But you should not allow your past to overrule your present or your future. It can take some people longer to get over past damage or loss or injustice, but that does not justify clinging to your grief and pain so tightly that you not only fail to heal but also do more damage to yourself.